Useless (youngwilliam) wrote,
Useless
youngwilliam

The Lost Tribe of Sunburians

Around town, there are little placards put up on cement slabs by... someone. I bet it's the Bangor Historical Society. There's one down along the Kenduskeag near West Market Square that talks about the narrowing of the docks, there's another by the Hannibal Hamlin statue that talks about the pre-1911 Post Office, and there's one by what used to be the Morse Covered Bridge that talks about local stream-critters... (dramatic pause)

...until the other day, when it was replaced by this Onion-type information.



ARTIFACTS OF A MYSTERIOUS AND HIDDEN CULTURE



Within the past decade a growing number of artifacts have appeared
along this stretch of the Kenduskeag Stream. From these researchers
have become convinced of the existence of a hidden and possible
ancient culture existing within close proximity to this location.
Although very little is known about this society, researchers have
determined through careful study that they are a gentle, benevolent
people that strive to exist in harmonious balance with theliving local
ecosystem.



CLAY FIGURINES



A large number of clay figurines have appeared on and around bridge footings. These resemble human
forms, are typically several inches in length and are often found in groups of 50 to 200. Analysis of the
clay reveals that it orignates from far away sources. In spite of the great lenghts taken to bring this
material here, it does not appear that any effort whatsoever has been made to harden or preserve the
clay. Examples pictured are rare, pristine specimines; the vast majority of these are usually
be found in various states of decomposition. Frequently, the figurines are accompanied by piles of seed.
It is theorized that the figures with seed may be a form of offering to local wildlife.



OX TURN TABLETS



Along with the clay figurines, tablets have been found bearing strange inscriptions.
As of yet researchers have been unable to determine the language or nature of the
text. Interestingly enough, the text appears to change direction with each successive
line. This is an archaic writing convention that scholars term 'Boustrophedon.' The
term derives from the greek words for 'ox' and 'turn'. It is a reference to the way in which
directions after the end of each row of ploughing in a field. Other languages written
in a similar style include Ancient Greek, Sabaean (of Ancient Yemen), and Rongorongo
(of Easter Island). While these inscriptions bear some resemblance to known ancient
languages, researchers have been unable to conclusively establish any verifiable
connections. The odd and archaic nature of this writing makes its recent appearance
all the more interesting!



BALANCED ROCKS



Precariously balanced stones have been observed in this area. The stream is tidal
here and the stones are always below the high water mark. Each high tide
topples the temporary monuments from the repeated appearance of these features
it is concluded tha the culture is active and persists (although for the most part unseen)
in this area. Furthermore, given that no apparent efforts have been made by these people
to make either the clay figurines, or these stone monuments more permanent, it is inferred
that the culture embraces the dynamic and changing character of natural systems.



I'll be adding to this as I get the missing details in future photographs. For now, here's the shots of the text that I took (and transcribed this from).



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