After much experimentation (Woah momma, that's a lot of custard I ate), it's not lactose intolerance. It would instead be, eh.. fructose intolerance?
Ok, not really. I just tested it out today by going nuts in eating the fruit we have at work that I normally just nibble on here and there. Chock full of sultanas, dried cherries, dried cranberries, and dried apricots, the symptoms returneth.
So yes, it seems if I limit myself to just a handful of sultanas with dinner (I do so love the taste of vinaigrette and raisins together) or munching on the other bits, things should be golden.
We now return you to your previous LiveJournalism.