Useless (youngwilliam) wrote,
Useless
youngwilliam

I Must Be the GateKeeper

Since I'm certainly not the KeyMaster.

On my way out of work tonight, as Sarah was showing Moriah how to run through the cashout, Sarah handed me her keys and asked me to warm up her car for her. Showing me the little blackjack-looking thing her key was hanging off of, she pointed to some obscure point on the "black labels on a black background" object and said I'd have to hit that twice to unlock it. Yeah, sure, whatever. Easy enough, right?

I go out to wander up and down the street a bit, hitting random parts of the fob until some car beeps (honestly, I never see these folks getting out of their car in the sunlight, why do they expect me to know whose is whose?). I unlock her trunk a few times and then find the black-on-black bit that undoes the doors. Ok, not so bad.

Getting half in the car, I pop the keys in and... just stab the steering column. I feel around a bit and I'm just finding the windshield wiper arm. I actually sit down properly and... nothing. No ignition at all, neither on the column nor on the dash. Thinking she might have some weird left-handed Saab, I scope out the left side as well (and the top, and the bottom). Nothing.

I go back, let her know that I managed the first half, but her car apparently doesn't want to give up the goods when it comes to starting it.

Turns out, the ignition is down by the gear shift and emergency brake. Is this new? Is this standard? I've honestly never seen that before. Welcome to the 21st century, where the passion for wirelessness has staved off the videophone and we still don't have a decent flying car, but we have ignitions down where your mid-seat clutter will cover them up.

In medical news, I've an appointment on Groundhog's Day to see about this whole supposed 'minor infection between my ribs and pectoral muscle' that has been going on for a year as of last weekend, since I really think it's something else.

Now, the basic 'feels like it's beating too hard' complaint could be easily covered by that; It'd be like how you can feel your pulse in your toe after you stub it. The weird gear-grindy stiletto-heel-stumble bits don't seem to fall under that, though, unless I've had a dodgey heartbeat all this time and never noticed it until things became sensitive in there. Still, even if it -is-? I'm not sure I'd call a 12-month infection "minor", so I'm going to push for something more than the cholesterol test or the prone EKG (both of which I had done this last spring/summer and both passed with flying colors). Although anonymous611 hates the idea, I'd love a yearly full-body CT or MRI scan! Alas, I don't think I'll sell any doctors onto that. Instead, I'm "stuck" with probably the same things I'd wanted before, but Dr. Holland found a little odd for someone who seemed healthy. Namely, a sort of ultrasound of my chest, and the "run on a treadmill while wired for sound" EKG stress test.

Trouble is, if I can only go for one, I'm not sure which one would be best. I'd love both, since it'd do wonders for my peace of mind to know that I don't have any golfball-sized masses of bio-pudding constricting my heart nor that I'd drop dead if I tried to sprint a mile. The EKG, I'll probably either get a 90% or 100% discount on, but the ultrasound would be a $200-$300 thing I'd have to actually pay for (since Northeastern Spectrum Medical covers the local ultrasound and X-Ray stuff, subcontracted by the hospitals-proper, and Spectrum doesn't have any charity care affair), but I'd be more than happy to pay $250 to know I probably shan't have some fatal cardio-surprise in the near future.

I'm also wondering if the echocardiogram only does the heart's innards, or if it's just a standard left-side ultrasound with a funky name? As in, if it's something around my heart instead of inside of it, would that be in the range of the echocardiogram?


Obviously, many of these questions will be answered shortly after 4:30 PM on Monday. Nevertheless, I still left a note for my spare telescope to go to Priscilla on the event of my untimely death.
Tags: mystery pain, q&a, work
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