It seems the likelihood of gallstones returning in someone who was gallstoney is high enough (even if they don't fit any gallstoner profile) that it'd be a bit silly to go with just going in and removing the gallstones, or trying some sort've stone-dissolving elixir. Seems the sonic-screwdriver method doesn't really exist as folks had hinted at, since it's actually used for zapping a stone that's stuck mid-duct. And this leaves the singular option (other than ignoring them) of gallbladder removal.
Pretty minor surgery, I might not even spend the night in the hospital, no big whoop.
The hinky part though? 11 AM, June 9th. Yes, June. Ninth. Not even three weeks away. That's the part that's setting my stomach a'flutter.
PS: And a big sarcastic, "WHY THANK YOU FOR REMINDING ME!" to Ms. Melissa Chaykin, who reminded me of how Andy Warhol died.